Woodwick candle is crackling. What a comforting noise. Its flickering light reflects on one of my favorite scriptures that I framed and put on my nightstand. It is not just any scripture. Those are words that I repeat to myself over and over again as I try to fall asleep and insomnia threatens to take over despite my best efforts. I repeat those words when I feel the anxiety building at 3:00 in the morning. Those who have been there know what it feels like. It starts with a passing thought which grows into this monster that takes over your logic, your heart rate, your breathing. You cry, you feel helpless and you just don’t know what to do. That’s when I repeat those wise words over and over again. They are my lifeline, they become my mantra, and some nights I know that those words are the only things that are true, that are real among my fears, my anxieties, my nightmares.
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 (ESV)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Who doesn't love waking up in the morning to maintenance banging on their door? While I scramble to put something decent on (really hate flashing people that early in the morning), hide Zeus (not supposed to have pets) and his toys, etc., my husband answers the door only to find out that we've been flooded. Again. Dryer gets pulled out and once again my dream of having a kitchen island comes true since it is sitting in the middle of my kitchen. The amount of laundry gets doubled because some of the water from upstairs dripped into the closet and I don't know where that water has been. But the worst part? The embarrassement that comes from all the dust bunnies hiding behind washer and dryer and having a repair man see the undeniable proof of what an awesome housekeeper I am. But then again, who pulls out their washer and dryer to clean behind them?